That’s Enough! Four Ways to Discipline Ungrateful Children

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“Just once more, Mom! Pleeeease?” My daughter, Stella, 6, was begging me to let her go down the slide again before we left the playground. By itself, the request was no biggie. But the previous slide was supposed to be her last, and I was tired of negotiating. Plus, I felt like I had spent all day dealing with her requests to push the limits: one more chapter in the Junie B. Jones book, five more minutes at a playdate, another Curious George episode, and a cookie even though she already ate an ice pop.

Would she ever be satisfied? “It may drive you crazy, but it’s normal for 5- and 6-year-olds to test limits,” says Parents advisor Jenn Berman, Psy.D., author of SuperBaby: 12 Ways to Give Your Child a Head Start in the First 3 Years. “This is when kids become astute at articulating thoughts and negotiating nuances, and they’re testing those skills on you.”

The good news, Dr. Berman says, is that repeated requests don’t mean your child is becoming greedy or selfish. In fact, kids usually outgrow this stage by age 8 or 9. That’s little consolation when you’re dealing with your child’s 100th plea and you’re so sick of talking about it that you want to scream. Especially since that’s what our child-development experts say not to do. We asked for their best tips on what to try instead.

Make a Deal

Your child is most likely to push the limits that occur on a regular basis, probably when he’s having fun or trying to delay something he hates. Use that to your advantage by getting him on board beforehand. So, if your son always asks for one more chapter in his Magic Tree House book at bedtime, while you’re eating dinner, decide together how many chapters you’ll read. Make him feel invested in the decision by giving him two choices you’re okay with — something like, “Should we read one chapter or two?” Then, even if he asks for one more when you’re done, you can say, “You love stories, but remember, you said two chapters at dinner. Maybe tomorrow we can read more,” suggests Harvey Karp, M.D., a Parents advisor and creator of The Happiest Toddler on the Block DVD and book.

Put in Your Notice

We all know it’s important to give toddlers a lot of early warnings before transitions like leaving a friend’s house, but sometimes we forget that older kids need one too. “Even adults need help shifting gears,” Dr. Berman says. “If I’m browsing at the bookstore with my husband and all of a sudden he says, ‘Okay, let’s go. I’ve had enough,’ it’s frustrating. I do better if he gives me a ten-minute warning.”

Five- and 6-year-olds don’t need constant reminders, but warn your child at the halfway point and at least once just before an activity ends. In your reminder, try to anticipate her comeback. So if she usually argues after a game of Candy Land that you have to play one more so she can have a chance to beat you, you could say at the outset, “If I win again, this is still going to be our last game. You can try again next time to beat me.”

Feel Their Pain

Even if you make a deal in advance and remind your child of the limit, what should you do if he still pleads for more? Research shows that he’ll be more likely to be cooperative — rather than confrontational — if you express empathy. For example, before you say no, tell your child you understand his frustration. In other words, when your child spots a toy car and a pack of trading cards and insists, “But I want both of them,” your first response should be a calm “I know you do, sweetie.”

“Your empathy calms him and helps him get back into a rational, thinking state,” says Liann Smith, a parent coach and educator in Seattle. Then you can remind him of the rule, which hopefully you established before you entered the store: “We agreed you could pick out one thing, right?”

Stand Your Ground

Sometimes, no matter how sympathetic you sound, your child won’t move on. Maybe it’s time to leave a playdate at a friend’s house and she starts to whine and beg, coming up with a myriad of reasons she needs more time there. Go ahead and hear out her arguments, Dr. Berman says, and explain your reasoning if necessary. If it becomes clear that she’s arguing just for the sake of arguing, put your foot down. That might mean saying, “I’m not going to talk about this anymore” and walking away.

Or try this tip from Hal Runkel, an Atlanta-based therapist and author of ScreamFree Parenting: Say, “No, my decision is final,’ over and over again, until your child stops arguing. “It’s okay to sound like a broken record,” Runkel says. “But don’t get angry. If you get angry, she’ll focus on your behavior instead of focusing on her own.”

Spotted on Parents.com. Click here for link.

Visit Go Au Pair at http://www.goaupair.com

Summer Finger Food Fun

Sick of serving O-shaped cereal and banana slices to your tot? Head to your local farmers market (find one near you at LocalHarvest.org) for finger-food inspiration that’s also likely to be pesticide- and hormone-free. Sara Snow, host of Get Fresh With Sara Snow, on the Discovery networks, offers ways to take advantage of the season’s best (and healthiest) produce.

Peaches ‘n’ cheese Dice fresh, very ripe peaches and let your tot dip them in cottage cheese. (Consider going organic with dairy products, simply because tots eat so much of them.) Carrot swords with hummus Slice boiled carrots into thin strips about the length of your pinkie finger, and serve with the premade chickpea dip. Fire sticks Dip thinly sliced red- or yellow-pepper strips in ranch dressing. (Hey, you can try!) Melon bites with yogurt dip Diced watermelon and cantaloupe go perfectly with plain or vanilla yogurt. Blueberry pizza Spread a whole-grain mini-waffle with cream cheese and top with halved blueberries. Insalata caprese Quarter cherry tomatoes and mix with diced fresh mozzarella.

Spotted on parenting.com. Click here for link.

Visit Go Au Pair at www.goaupair.com.

Roche, an Au Pair from South Africa with Go Au Pair

“I want to enrich my life with a part of America.”

  • Program Type: Standard Au Pair, Transition Au Pair
  • Age Experience: Under 2 years old, 2-5 years old, 5 -10 years old
  • Languages: English, Afrikaans
Name: Roche
Age: 22
Availability Date: 07/03/2012
Nationality: South Africa
English Rank: 5

Program Type: Standard Au Pair, Transition Au Pair
Type of Experience: Nanny, Other, Nursery
Age Experience: Under 2 years old, 2-5 years old, 5 -10 years old
Driver’s License: Yes
Infant Qualified: Yes

Education: High School Graduate
Languages: English, Afrikaans
Hobbies: Piano, singing, guitar, writing, drawing, music, friends, psychology, art, computers, animals

How has Roche been described by references?

She is friendly, has good manners, thoughtful, enthusiastic, sincere, honest, patient, calm, creative, and dependable.

Why does Roche want to be an Au Pair?

i have a passion for children and would like to share my childcare expereinces.  I believe that we can learn so much from people.

Spotted on Go Au Pair at www.goaupair.com

 

 

Au Pair Quick Facts

  • 22 years old
  • Infant Qualified
  • High School Graduate
  • Hold driver’s license

Learn More

Uncle Sam Pin

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Total Time 1 Hour Ages All Ages
Pin on a patriotic face that’s sure to stand out in any Fourth of July crowd.

What you’ll need
White craft foam
Scissors
Markers
Wooden craft spoon
Googly eyes
Cotton balls
Glue
Self-adhesive pinback
How to make it
To make one, cut out a basic Uncle Sam-style hat (about 2 inches tall and 1 inch wide) from white craft foam.
Use markers to color the brim blue and to draw red stripes on the top.
Glue the hat to the handle of a wooden craft spoon (if necessary, first use scissors to trim the wooden handle so that it’s shorter than the hat).
Glue on googly eyes and a cotton ball beard, then draw on a small L-shaped nose.
Attach a self-adhesive pinback (sold at many craft and bead stores), and your Uncle Sam pin is ready to wear.

Spotted on spoonful.com. Click here for link.

Visit Go Au Pair at www.goaupair.com

Adventure for Kids at Blackbeard’s Cave in Bayville

Looking for things to do in NJ with kids? This summer, you’d be hard-pressed to find a place packed with more activities for your whole family than Blackbeard’s Cave in Bayville, NJ.

WHY WE LOVE Blackbeard’s cave

Bumper Boats at Blackbeards Cave in Bayville (Facebook User: Blackbeards Cave)

Bumper Boats at Blackbeards Cave in Bayville (Facebook User: Blackbeards Cave)

Thrill-seeking kids can zip around in Go Karts around a quarter-mile long track featuring a bridge and a tunnel. Younger drivers can go with mom or dad in a two-seater to join in the fun.

The pirate-themed miniature golf course is a fan favorite, featuring bridges, cool caves and pools to challenge players with 20 holes.

Land-lubbers stay away from the Bumper Boats. You will get wet. These air-filled boats come equipped with water-guns and watch out for the water booms from the pool.  Another water activity is Water Wars, where opponents man launching stations to hurl water balloons at opponents.

Go Kart Racing at Blackbeards Cave in Bayville (Facebook User: Blackbeards Cave)

Go Kart Racing at Blackbeards Cave in Bayville (Facebook User: Blackbeards Cave)

Let the little ones explore the Kiddie Park and they’ll love the C.B. Huntington Train ride, the dragon roller coaster or the Lollipop Swings.

Baseball lovers can spend some time at the batting cages. With 10 cages, there’s rarely a wait and the pitches start off slow, then move up to 92 miles per hour.

Other activities include a 30-foot Rock Wall, a driving range, an archery challenge, a Euro-Bungy jumping ride and a paint ball arena.

Food, Parking, Prices, Hours

If you work up an appetite, C.B. Huntington’s Family Restaurant is a short walk away from Blackbeard’s Cave.

Parking is free, admission is free but the rides all cost money.

Here’s a sampling of Blackbeard’s Cave Prices:

  • Go-Kart Racing: 8 tickets (a bonus book has 45 tickets and costs $30/ single tickets are 75 cents)
  • Bumper Boats:  7 tickets (a bonus book has 45 tickets and costs $30/ single tickets are 75 cents)
  • Rock Wall: 6 tickets (a bonus book has 45 tickets and costs $30/ single tickets are 75 cents)
  • Mini-golf:  $6 per player
  • Driving Range:$5 for a Medium bucket/ $7 for a Large bucket (about 70 balls) /$9 for an Extra Large bucket
  • Batting Cages: You have to purchase tokens for this. Tokens are $1 each and each session costs one token.

Park opens at 12:30 p.m. and closes at 10:30 p.m.

 

Spotted on nj1015.com. Click here for link.

Visit Go Au Pair at www.goaupair.com

Judy’s Strawberry Pretzel Salad

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Ingredients

1 1/2 cups crushed pretzels
4 1/2 tablespoons white sugar
3/4 cup butter, melted
1 cup white sugar
2 (8 ounce) packages cream cheese
1 (8 ounce) container frozen whipped topping, thawed
1 (6 ounce) package strawberry flavored gelatin
2 cups boiling water
1 (16 ounce) package frozen strawberries
Directions

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Mix together the pretzels, 4 1/2 tablespoons sugar and melted butter. Press into the bottom of a 9×13 inch pan. Bake for 10 minutes, or until lightly toasted. Set aside to cool completely.
In a medium bowl, beat the sugar and cream cheese until smooth. Fold in whipped topping. Spread evenly over the cooled crust. Refrigerate until set, about 30 minutes.
In a medium bowl, stir together the gelatin mix and boiling water. Mix in frozen strawberries, and stir until thawed. Pour over cream cheese mixture in pan. Refrigerate until completely chilled, at least 1 hour.

Spotted on allrecipes.com. Click here for recipe.
Visit Go Au Pair at http://www.goaupair.com

Asteriod

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What You Need
Four to six players
1 soccer ball (the planet)
1 foam ball (the asteroid)
Instructions
Divide players into two teams.
The object of the game is for Team Asteroid to throw their foam ball and hit Team Planet’s soccer ball. Team Planet controls their ball by kicking it around, trying to keep it from Team Asteroid. Team Asteroid players are not allowed to take any steps with their ball. Instead, they must pass it to teammates, trying to get it in the hands of a player close enough to the planet for a shot.
When the foam ball hits the soccer ball, the teams switch roles.

Spotted on familyfun.com http://familyfun.go.com/summer/summer-games/asteroid-1003935/
Visit Go Au Pair at http://www.goaupair.com